Man Shanks

On Prison Break last night, a big deal was made by the most evil motherfucker on the show when he had to eat some fat guy when they're were lost in the desert. This guy is a fucking pedophile serial killer or some shit, but eat a dude who's dead anyway.... yuck. WHAT THE FUCK?! Why is cannibalism considered the worst crime ever? I mean if I'm dead, eat my dead ass for chrissakes.

I remember being lost in the woods in Martha's Vineyard (sort of like being lost in a sale at Bloomindale's). Anyway, me and my boy, we were picking out who was going to be the most scrumptious of our party in case we were faced with offing someone for the vittles. I had a buddy who played Rugby so he was an obvious choice. And you know what? That shit probably tasted good. Which reminds me, once you cross that line, might as well feast away. I mean once you're over the fact that a piece of Sally's tramp stamp is visible in the chunk you sliced off her nalgas, you might as well pig the fuck out. Shit, fool, you haven't eaten in days!

This fear of eating other people I think goes back to this we're so special bullshit. Your starving ass can't eat my soon-to-be-maggot-infested carcass because I'm God's creation. People always say atheists think they're superior. No, you fucking putz, you think you were MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE. You think God looks like you. You asshole. Wait, weren't we talking about eating people? Nevermind.