Cracker-Ass Douchebags

Today I was trying to reconcile hating and loving the people of the world. I walk around overwhelmed with both emotions on any given day.  This white bitch I'm friends with helped me realize that I really just hate white people. Not so black people will like me, either. I teach capoeira so black people will like me. I don't even like capoeira. And I'm sore every day from it. But white chicks love white dudes with black friends. And apparently big dick is contagious. So that's cool. Wow, first paragraph back and I've found a way to work my penis in. I'll try to make that a theme.

ANYWAY, here's the thing. Every people of the world has a subset of douchebags. But I can deal with most I come across. Latino douchebags are usually closeted macho gay dudes. As long as you don't threaten to out them, you're alright. And you pick any random black douchebag off the street and I bet he can make you laugh talking shit about somebody. Shit, if he's talking about your cracker ass, you'll still probably laugh while your racist cracker - or possibly asian - girlfriend (whose secret fantasy is a bukkake party with NWA) roots around her purse for the mace.

(resisting the temptation to go on a tangent about girlfriends getting you into fights with dudes you have no business fighting)

Asian douchebags are self-deprecating and self-aware -- hence terms like Rice Rocket -- not to mention when you have fine, straight hair but you wear wave caps, well, you have too many issues to deal with to fuck my shit up.

Meanwhile, white douchebags get barb wire tattoos and invade Iraq.

QED, bitches.